(organic) Popcorn and Tequila

Sometimes you just need to crunch.
Usually I’m a sweet, creamy person when it comes to food and texture. When I’m looking for comfort or company or entertainment or fun it’s about the sugar. However every once in a blue moon I need to crunch. My crunch doesn’t have to be salty but it has to be plentiful (aka: LARGE bowl). I needed to crunch tonight. Oftentimes crunch is something we do to quell anger, abate anxiety….relieve tension. But it’s not often recognized as such. I recognized it though. It's that state of awareness I'm always talking about. Me attempting to walk my talk.

I wrote all of the above a week ago. At the time I stopped writing I hadn’t mentioned the tequila. You see I had made myself a large bowl of organic popcorn, popped in my favorite pot with some beautiful extra virgin olive oil because I just needed to crunch. Back in nutrition school they taught us what the crunch “craving” is representative of. I mentioned it above. Since I’m usually aware of the reason I turn to food, I understood that on that evening last week I was pretty darn frustrated about a plethora of things. Stomping around the house was doing me no good. And, I didn’t want to take my own wellness advice to go off and journal, run a bath, manicure my nails, watch a movie or call a friend. All of these activities oftentimes do make me feel better , give me the same sated feeling as the food would provide , and give me a chance to separate the forest from the trees, so to speak, in understanding where I was at.

So while I was waiting for the pop to occur to my corn I put a little tequila on ice and began to drink it. Yep, I was pretty frustrated. And I did think…hey I should at least try and blog on this while I’m in the moment. But by the time I got through the large bowl of popcorn and the (tiny, really) bowl of tequila—well, needless to say the blog post didn’t get completed.

So what makes us turn to food (and drink) when things get intolerable? Usually it’s a combination of not wanting to feel the feelings that are coming up inside of us and being uncomfortable, in general, with those feelings. So, we stuff them with food. We wash them away with drink. We numb and we veil.

What we really need to do is twist and shout. Yes, literally moving our bodies will help relieve emotional stress and strain. This can be done as The Beatles intended in their song…..by dancing an (aggravating) evening away. Or, it can be done by literally twisting/tightening our bodies and then releasing them, which will alleviate strain and strife.

And, really, nothing beats actually shouting. It took me a long time to use this one myself. I withdrew from anger for years and years because I witnessed the negative consequences of it growing up. But expressing anger in a pure and honest way really moves it right out of your body. What I will sometimes do is take my car to a quiet spot, turn it off, close all the windows and scream at the top of my lungs. I scared myself the first few times I did this. I’m generally not one to yell. Then once I got the hang of how GOOD it made me feel I started recommending it to clients. Try it next time you’re hopping mad. You’ll see.

Now the night of the popcorn and tequila I wasn’t mad. It was pure nuisance because I had a problem I had been attempting to solve for awhile and nothing I tried was working. The popcorn really was for my irritation. While the crunching moved me through the exasperation I really didn’t like the way I was feeling. In the moment I felt in the state of failure, malfunction and pure stoppage. I felt ashamed and shame is definitely a feeling that I haven’t learned to embrace. It’s a shadow. You know that saying about being afraid of your own shadow? Well, there it was. We all have ALL feelings. Those we are not in touch with and/or reject don’t go away. They lurk in the shadows, sometimes just waiting to pounce. So, I had some tequila which made the shadow evaporate for awhile. And I ended up having a relaxing night and a solid wellness blog post too. In the light of the morning things appeared much more encouraging. I felt optimistic and more assured.

Now before you stop reading this and go off to make your own bowl of (organic) popcorn and tequila and start telling people that the nutrition and wellness counselor recommended the combination as a sure cure for wiling away the worries please let me finish with two key elements: awareness and choice.

I was really clear about what I was feeling (like it or not) and choices that I had to deal with the feelings the situation brought about. In this instance, I chose the popcorn and the tequila. And I’m self-satisfied enough to write about it. More than a decade ago I may have made that choice but without the understanding and full comprehension of other options to connect and how food/drink can be used to fill a void. I also know that I do not have an addictive personality (a bit obsessive, yes, addictive...no.) And with a number of friends and clients in 12-step programs, I have a deep respect for the choice to not drink (or drug) they make each day. If a similar situation were to occur for me next week, I may make that same choice with the same knowledge again. Or, I might choose the warm bath and conversation with a friend instead.

Staying in the moment—even when the moment sucks—affords options regarding next maneuvers. It also provides a more direct road of wellness in knowing yourself. I find that’s delicious.

If you'd like some support around cravings...be it sweet, salty, one that is texture driven, etc., I offer telephone sessions and can be reached via my website: www.wholebodyworks.net